Thriller
by Jokess
Summary: Crack fic. I watched a certain music video and just had to write something. Beware the crack! Rated just incase


Jokess- -Is teary- How the f-ing hell am I supposed to write crack after actually finishing the fruits basket series? I don't know if it is possible. -Wipes away her tears. So sad, now I must put all my heart into Tobi-kun being Obito-kun, And Karin-sama being Rin-chan. -Breaks down in tears- Just so frickin sad. But, it's happy. Ah, I feel so teary. I must make myself smile.

So, as I stated this will be crack. It's not something I usually do, but Micheal Jacksom and Orochimaru work very well together in crackfics. Really, the inspiration wouldn't die. So...yeah my disclaimer, I don't own a thing. It'd be nice to have a Tobi plushie though. Alas, they didn't even have a key chain for him. So sad.

Thriller

Strange music was filling the hideout of Orochimaru's lair. Really, it was quite irritating for a certain former leaf nin. One by the name of Sasuke Uchiha. "Damn it." he yelled sleep bruises under his eyes. "If those damn bumping sounds aren't going on all night now it's this crazy music."

Walking down the halls Sasuke let some more colorful obscenities flow from his mouth as he walked. Within moments he cursed again this time stopping in his tracks. After all he had just gotten that damn song, whatever it was, stuck in his head. At the same time he also noted Kabuto was gone. Strange since the silver haired teen usually caused those afore mentioned bumps in the night. Usually, Sasuke wasn't a part of Orochimaru's fantasies, but there were times. Damn, did he miss those times.

Having started to walk again Sasuke found himself contemplating a particular incident. Somehow, the three of them, Kabuto, Orochimaru and himself, had been part of a very kinky threesome. It had not only included Kabuto twirling his whip, the permanent one, but also of said person and 'whip' flailing Orochimaru who had been the cow. Sasuke's part had been milking the 'cow' and then sampling his 'milk.' Then of course their had been the time things got more interesting then that. THAT time had given a very strange meaning to the movie 'Finding Nemo.'

All this in mind Sasuke already had an idea to tope everything, even the infamous 'ranch' incident. This idea involved a very interesting police investigation with even more interesting guns to feel.

It was no surprise by now that Sasuke had almost forgot about his annoyance. After all he was a growing young man. And all growing young men needed Orochimaru and Kabuto to have interesting three way role plays going on.

But, as a scream of something like pleasure filled the area Sasuke once again became his emo self. True to this vision he took out a knife and stared at it longingly. It really was just too bad Kabuto and blood mixed in a fashion that was eerily demonic. Otherwise looking wasn't the only thing Sasuke would be doing with the knife.

As another scream of pleasure filled the hall Sasuke frowned. 'How could they not include me. I'm scary.' "I'm scary. Rawr and Ahh scary." Sasuke reassured himself though he didn't look totally convinced. For sure later that knife would be around again.

Having now gotten to the door the music, and sporadic screams, were coming from Sasuke determinedly twisted the door knob and pushed in. As light filtered in he had expected something, but not THIS.

In front of Sasuke's eyes was a very delicious looking Orochimaru dressed like Micheal Jackson. Had Sasuke not known better he would have said this man was Micheal Jackson, but even Orochimaru wasn't THAT good.

Near his side was Kabuto dressed as a girl his hair done up in a bun. In the background the music he heard had started up again. This time though Sasuke recognized it and immediately wondered why he hadn't before.

As if on cue the music's lyric's started again. This time from the chorus.

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes You know its thriller, thriller night You're fighting for your life inside of killer, thriller tonight.'

Looking around at the scene Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. He wanted in, that was obvious to anyone looking at his front side, but still he was curious. After all Orochimaru thought of Micheal Jackson as his biggest rival. He had just done so many amazing things that Orochimaru almost looked up to the man. Had he actually been accessible Orochimaru would have taken the man long ago.

"We're practicing for the talent show." Kabuto said a wicked smile on his face. "First prize is a whore of the winners' choice."

"Damn that's fine." Sasuke said passionately. After all it was no secret that Sasuke had moved on from Naruto. Hard considering the blonde could be quite horny at times, especially when Kyuubi took interest. One time Sasuke swore he would have gotten pregnant had they tried any harder. Really, Jiraya was a lucky man.

But, Sasuke did have others he lusted after aside Kabuto and Orochimaru. For example Gaara had once showed that his gourd was a very good tool with it's circular opening. Perfect for those inexperienced. There had been another time when Gaara had shown great prowess in combining chocolate and honey together. Of course the feat was never repeated. Sasuke had gotten hyper and had actually smiled. The world had almost ended when that had happened. Hell, it would have had Sasuke not gotten seriously sick moments afterwards.

"I'm game." Sasuke said as he stepped into the room. "All right." Kabuto said music still going off in the background. "You can be a monster that grabs my tight ass and tries to hall said tight ass away."

Sasuke nodded liking this idea more and more. "Orochimaru of course will then proceed to tug you away and a fight will ensue. I'll get away while you two are...busy and then things will be interesting."

"Really, how so?" Sasuke asked a smirk of pleasure on his face.

Kabuto smirked in the same way. "Let's just say Orochimaru's snakes won't be alone."

All of them grinned wickedly at that already imagining what would be going on. It ranged from a very interesting game of doctor to make sure Kabuto was still alive to Sasuke trying to 'mark' Kabuto as his own.

For the first time Orochimaru spoke up. "Now it is time to finally pwn Micheal Jackson into oblivion and make him pay for trying to out do me!" at this he laughed maniacally getting the other two going.

Really, it was some time before everything calmed down. Hell, it was sometime before the three of them started practice for their routine. After all a the three of them had gotten into a very interesting role play of 'Santa and his little helpers.'

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Two weeks later the three of them had won the talent show contest by a landslide. After all there was just something oh so sexy as a man who already looked like Micheal Jackson now dressed as him. Not to mention a giggly, girly Kabuto and a Sasuke acting as a depressed, emo zombie.

Now, the three of them were picking out their prizes. Kabuto had already gone for Kakashi who he heard had a very interesting use for his Chidori. Orochimaru had chosen an undead, zombie, vampire, werewolf mage that had once been Zabuza.

Sasuke however was having trouble. First he thought of Shikamaru who, as a genius, had very interesting role play ideas. Then there had been Lee who was said to be true in every aspect of a rock in every way. Then of course there was his brother. After all incest made the world go round. After a long while Sasuke had finally seen an answer. A small advertisement.

This advertisement said. 'I'll be a good boy.' Usually one on the passive side since he was youngest Sasuke of course quickly grabbed at the chance to have his own 'good boy.'

Another week later and Sasuke was very pleased with Tobi. Apparently the Akatsuki needed money so had sent Tobi out for stud. Needless to say the experience had been interesting. Especially when Tobi had shown the very many uses of his mask. All in all though the advertisement was right and Sasuke, as well as Orochimaru and Kabuto, were very happy with Tobi who only needed to be fed Tobi-snacks ever once in a while.

END

Jokess-...-is convulsing from laughter-...Damn, I never expected that. This was originally intended to be a song fic. Obviously that worked out extraordinarily well. -Sarcastic face- Ah well, at least thriller was mentioned in their somewhere. Though one probably has to squint to really see it. But, fanfictions tend to do that. Even one shots like this. Ah, well before I get killed I meant no foul by this. It is just crack and that means no takey seriously. I like my head where it is, thank-you-very-much. So, if no one is too...emotionally disturbed...I think I might actually get a review, a very interesting one probably. 


End file.
